Bangoura 64′, Gallas 88′ – Divers: Vukojevic, Bangoura

Very disappointing, from several aspects. First, the performance was definitely not what we’ve been seeing from Arsenal of late. I don’t know if it was the venue, the travel, or what… but they were not firing on all cylinders last night in Kiev. We had a few good, clear shots but they did not find their way into the net. Emmanuel Adebayor had an absolute sitter at 19′ that should have put us in front, but he delivered it to the home supporters instead. We seemed to be playing more defensively, with Alexandre Song starting in somewhat of a sweeper role in front of the back line. But that went out the window at 62′ when Bacary Sagna allowed his marker, Ognjen Vukojevic, to back into him, reach around, grab Bacary by his ass, and then throw them both to the ground. It might be the first tandem dive I’ve ever witnessed. The Official pointed to the spot and we were down 1-0. Poor Bacary looked like he couldn’t believe what had just happened. I imagaine that I must have looked exactly the same. Fucking gobsmacked. Nine minutes later, Bangoura took a dive near the edge of the penalty area and got himself booked for his trouble. Apparently, Dynamo Kyiv’s strategy is to dive their way out of the Group Stage. I’m not certain this is a sound approach.

If we appeared somewhat in control up to the penalty, then that all crumbled in our hands soon after…  and we should count ourselves fortunate that William Gallas was able to flick that ball home not two minutes from time. Then, it looked as if the goal had given us momentum to perhaps score another, but the official decided he’d rather cut injury time in half and go have a pint. So, rather than share the lead in our group with Porto, we’re in the middle with these Ukrainian cheats. I can’t wait to meet them at Ashburton Grove. I still firmly believe we have more than we need to take the group outright, but a result like this is truly disappointing. Ah, but that’s football.

Not a very good day for officiating in the Champions League, was it? Bad calls, screwing up the clock… They even red carded the wrong player in another match (Celtic, I think). How can three officials agree to send the wrong player off the pitch? Disgraceful. I’m sure it must be a hard job, officiating… but shouldn’t they be held to some sort of performance metric at this level?

I don’t have a clue what to think about his match.

Blah b-blah blah, Samir Nasri still injured, b-blah blah b-blah new CEO, blah b-blah Eboue nominated for an Oscar blah b-blah blah b-blah and finally blah. Right.

Scurvy Prognostication of the Match:

Dynamo Kyiv 0-2 Arsenal

And it’s going to be one goal from Adebayor and one from Bendtner. You just watch and see.

Van Persie 9, Adebayor 45, 78 (pen), 89 – Divers: Eboue

Thanks, Manu… you had to go and fuck up my lovely prognostication by scoring a hat trick rather than be satisfied with a brace, didn’t you? I’ll see if I can find it in my heart to forgive you. Oh, and… welcome home, you goal scoring lion. We missed you. And I bet it felt good to hear those Adebayor chants at Ewood today, didn’t it? Well deserved, too.

Despite my man Theo Walcott lining up on the left, with Emmanuel Eboue on the right, we dominated. Emmanuel Adebayor & Robin van Persie were up front, with Cesc Fabregas & Denilson in the middle. Our typical back four rounded things out and it proved far too much for Paul Ince’s squad. At 8′, Robin weaved his magic to get a left-footed flick just round the defense, and if it wasn’t going in, Ade was there to see it through. One nil to the Arsenal.

We continued to dominate most of the first half, with a random sneaky attack by Rovers, none of which paid off. Then, at 45+1′ Adebayor heads in a Denilson cross, and then immediately shows us that Elaine Benes wasn’t such a bad dancer after all. The Adebayor/Henry Swordfight Cockdance was bad, but this new one he’s trying to cultivate looks worse. We’ll see… but, it didn’t stop the visiting fans from getting up and singing the “Adebayor! Give him the ball, and he will score!” chant. Brilliant.

At 47′, Theo Walcott made a lovely little run through the Blackburn defense to have himself a shot on goal, but it did little more than sting Paul Robinson’s mitts. Theo has been tireless all game and working his own brand of magic from the opening whistle. He’s selfless and figures into every serious move forward.

At 56′,  Eboue nearly hammers one through, but Robinson fingernails it over the crossbar. He tries again 20 seconds later and skies it. Eboue haters, you can’t say he’s not trying.

At 66′, Physios are brought on to blow Morten’s nose. Looks like he took a smash to the beak. It’s been a pretty open second half. Blackburn threatens continuously, but Arsenal always manage to rein it in. At 81′,  an Eboue dive (somewhat) sees Adebayor to the spot and my prognostication is complete (for the moment). At this point, I’m a little scared by myself. If we leak a late goal from Santa Cruz, I might pee a little. But it’s not to be. As much as it looked like Eboue took a dive on that play, and he might have, the injury looked real. While the commentators were looking at the replay for contact, they failed to see Eboue’s left foot get hyperextended on the pitch, which can suck… a lot. I can’t imagine even Eboue having himself stretchered off the pitch to sell a dive, particularly after the penatly was given and the PK scored.

At 89′, Gael Clichy, execllent all match – as usual, is down on the pitch. Not good. We really need him to stay healthy. He walks off of his own volition… can’t be too serious. I hope. We held out and then Adebayor goes and, despite being incredulous that the offsides flag hadn’t gone up for the first time all match, he goes and puts his hat trick away at 90+2′.

A comprehensive victory over Rovers away. My dog is avoiding me at all costs, following the wife about. I have yet to check in and see how the other teams have done, but I’m hoping for dismal results from the rest of the big four five. GO ON, YOU ARSENAL! Great match!

I think I’m going to try something different this season… a match preview. I normally only write reaction to the matches and random football related bits and funnies I find worthwhile. A lot of the blogs I read focus a lot on transfers and club business, which is great, but I’m not cut out for that sort of thing. So, if time allows, I’ll try and throw these previews together a day or so before each match.

This week, we head off to the cozy and rustic Ewood Park to face my dog’s favorite club, Blackburn Rovers. Had I known when I got him, I may have named him Rover, but he didn’t even realize he was a Blackburn supporter at that point. Nonetheless, I’ve had quite a bit of fun over the years rubbing his nose in shit when the Gunners beat his side up. I’m hoping tomorrow will be another such occasion. Although, if we flub it, he’ll be relentless in his efforts to rub my nose in shit. I’ll have to listen to his barking for days. Come on, boys. Don’t let me down.

Paul Ince is the new chief at Blackburn, and he’s off to a better start than I think most people expected. An opening day win over Everton, then a draw with Hull, and then a loss to Hammers has them asking questions, I’d bet. But 4 points from 9 isn’t terrible. They’ll be up for it this week, I think. Probably not enough, but… eh, don’t make me go on about underestimating again. You know the drill. I think we’ll have enough to bring home all three points this week, even with our injury list and resting players from that interminable international break.

The key here is going to be containing Santa Cruz, but also Pedersen and his crosses. It’s going to be fun watching Bacary Sagna do his best to frustrate Pedersen all afternoon. If he can do that successfully, it should be an easier time of it for Captain Gallaxy and Kolo Toure to flummox Santa Cruz in the middle. I’m not sure how they’re lining up on the right, but I feel pretty comfortable so long as Gael Clichy is there.

Is this the game where we see Emmanuel Adebayor pick up scoring where he left off last season? I certainly hope so… unlike Paul Robinson, who probably hopes Manu suffers a debilitating bout of Les Trots at the last moment before kick off. It looks like Theo Walcott will not be allowed to ride his England hat trick momentum (brilliant work, Theo, truly excellent) and will get a rest. Cesc Fabregas should be fired up and well rested after a limited appearance for Spain, and Samir Nasri has picked up a minor knee injury which will see him in the stands. Tomas Rosicky is still nowhere in sight, and it looks as though we’ll get Emmanuel Eboue again. Abou Diaby? Perhaps.

Let’s add a match prediction to this new feature, shall we? I say:

Blackburn 1-3 Arsenal

And I’ll even go so far as to say a brace from Manu, and the other from RvP or Cesc. If we leak a goal, it will come from Santa Cruz. How’s that for prognostication? Good luck, Arsenal. Have a good start to your road trip.

Van Persie 19, 40, Denilson 59 – Divers: none – Criminal Scumbags: Barton

Now that’s the kind of Arsenal football I love to see. And yes… they’re back. Were it not for the hot hand of Shay Given, the scoreline would have read 6-0 at the least. The Gunners dominated from the opening minute and never let up. There were the usual ebbs and flows to the match, but for the most part, Arsenal never let up. This is a refreshing change from past matches where the side never properly put the screws to the opposition.

Robin Van Persie opened his account this year with a brace, which I think is going to open the way for a stream of goals from him. Denilson also put a nice little shot in after one of several impressive passing displays in front of the Newcastle goal to seal the victory. Several other players would surely have gotten on the sheet if it weren’t for the keeper and a few clangs off the post. It were as if the entire Arsenal side were taking turns taking shots at the goal. It really was a beautiful thing to see, and I hope we see more of it. Adebayor nearly hit home a few times, but it wasn’t his night. He still featured in the build up to all three goals, even drawing the penalty for RvP.

Short post this week. On vacation with the family. I’ll update the table when I get home.

Update: Found a little more time to write on this. I’m away but find myself with free time once the little Scurvy’s are off to bed at the condo we’re renting somewhere in between two churning hurricanes.

So, Eboue… yes, Emmanuel Eboue. WTF? I don’t know what to think about this guy anymore. I cringe when I see him in the line up. But lately, he’s been pretty solid. And that little backheel maneuver was pretty, I have to admit. Of course, he then went and tried it again only to hand over posession. Not that it mattered at that point. And, what sort of Arsenal match would it be without the grim visage of Robin van Persie limping off the pitch. How do you spell that noise your wife makes when you say something particularly distasteful in front of particular people? Uhckhhckhh…. or something to that effect. Well, I made that noise myself for the first time since my testicles descended when I saw Robin score a brace and then, limp off the field. Reports are filtering in now that he may be alright and that he might actually line up for Holland this week where, he will undoubtedly be slide tackled into several indvidual pieces. Robin van Pieces, if you will.

Who else? Oh yeah… Emmanuel Adebayor. He didn’t hit the nylon Saturday, but he worked his lengthy Togolese ass off, did he not? I think someone may have pulled him aside in the locker room and given him a bit of advice… perhaps something like this:

“Manu… hey man, listen… the fans, they’re giving you some shit, right? Well… here’s what you need to do… get out there and work your ass off. Just play hard, loose your inner-lion, help the team win, even if it means someone else scores the goal. That’s what will win the hearts of the fans back. Kissing the badge? Not so much.”

Joey Barton. Now… I  know the easy thing is to make fun of him being a criminal and all, but… he paid his debt to society for at least some of his wrongdoings, and I’m fine with that. He steps on the pitch and slide tackles our man Nasri. Holy christ in a sidecar! But guess what… it was a fair tackle, people. A bit too physical, I’d reckon, but fair nonetheless. Joey is going to catch shit in every stadium he makes a fair tackle in from here on out… just because. That’s his bane. Even the douche-lips smirk he threw Nasri after the tackle (funny as it might have been) wasn’t entirely out of order. This is a physical game, and it’s a mental game. If you’re not prepared to deal with blokes like Joey, stay in the locker room. Fucking Cantona was ten times the scumbag on the pitch as Barton, but people adore him because he won trophies. Can you picture Barton getting a Nike ad in ten years where he walks about half-shaved telling people to play beautiful? Not going to happen. Just what does Eric consider to be playing beautiful anyway? Stepping on other players? Drop-kicking fans? Meh… great footballer, no doubt… but not much of a human being. Barton is Catona without the silverware. Both useless in my eyes.

Right. So, our boys are back playing beautiful (cough) we’re in 4th place and that’s all that matters for now. Here’s to hoping for a healty international break. See you in a week or so.