Van Persie 93 – Divers: none

Captain January to the rescue once again. I shudder to think where we’d be if Robin van Persie weren’t playing the way he is of late.

We came out, I thought, fairly strong and seemed to be up for it from the opening whistle. Then things just seemed slow to a crawl. Even when Everton went ahead with a Tim Cahill header, there seemed to be no spark to us. I suppose that can’t be very surprising with the schedule as packed as it is. But something needs to change, because it’s not going to lighten up anytime soon.

I was smoldering pretty good by the time we went into injury time for the second half. But I never turn away, because as as Arsenal fan you know well and good that it isn’t over until the whistle blows. Last night was another fine example of that. With less than a minute to go in stoppage, Abou Diaby picked out Robin van Persie with a long ball that he took down with his chest guided out in front of him left of the goal and absolutely thwacked the fucking thing home with his non-chocolate leg to bring us level. An absolute stunner for Moyes & Co. If only it had been a game winner and not an equalizer for us. Adebayor failed to deliver yet again. I think it’s time we try to pair up RvP with someone a bit more reliable up front. His distribution sucks. Let’s just try it.

So, we’re off to a great start, if our aim is to secure 5th place. We’re now 5 points outside the Top Four and 5 points ahead of 6th place Everton. Lots of football to go, but it’s becoming apparent that we’re more and more reliant upon slips from above if we want to get back in. And it hurts to admit it.

The press are playing this whole story up as if Kaka has decided that money isn’t everything and that that’s why he’s staying with AC Milan. Well, I call bullshit. To a certain extent, yes… money isn’t everything. Otherwise, the deal would have been done. But, I also believe that had that same offer come from Manchester United, Liverpool, Chelsea or any other big European team who is not about to become embroiled in one hell of a mighty relegation battle, well… then he’d already be in new strip. And, please... if money weren’t a factor and football loyalty was what drove him, he’d still be in Brazil. Let’s not forget that the man didn’t grow up on the mean streets of Milan. There’s also a story floating around that it was actually City who withdrew the offer, and that it wasn’t a rejection by Kaka. Either way, Kaka and his people are spinning it like he’s taking the high road.

So, this has all led to speculation that Sheikh Satan will swoop in at the last moment and steal Andrei Arshavin out from under our grubby talons. I suppose it is possible. If the Abu Dhabinians were willing to nearly triple the previous transfer record to land Kaka, I can’t imagine they wouldn’t have the rocks to top our paltry £13 million offer with another £10 million or so. But, will Arshavin want to go to City? If an offer comes, he certainly has the right to tell us “Hey, Arsenal… I vant to play for you, but can you at least match offer from reech oil man?” Which may cause us to actually open the checkbook, although somehow I doubt it. Especially in light of the fact that we’ve now turned down an opportunity to go to Russia to talk to Zenit officials. Is he really worth all this at 27 years of age?  He can’t play in the Champions League for us this season, so he can only help domestically. Great, now I’ve got a mental image of him in an apron tidying up.

In other news, Tomas Rosicky tells us he’s still not fit. Thanks… for that. William Gallas says he’s going to see out his remaining contract with Arsenal for the next two years. How do you type that sort of internal snort noise you make when something strikes you funny but you don’t want to laugh out loud? Well, I just did that. It went like this: “Gallas is staying.“  ghrntrnt “Right.” And lastly, I am still awaiting an offer from Sheikh Mansour for £50 million to write nice things about Manchester City. I have granted myself permission to speak with City agents and await their call.

Next up, away to Cardiff for the FA Cup. We won’t have Gael Clichy since he’s on five yellows, but I’m thinking a bit of sit might do him some good about now. I think Mikael Silvestre is back, so it will be interesting to see what our back line looks like for this one. I probably won’t write up a  preview for this one, since I know about as much about Cardiff as I know about particle accelerators. Come to think of it… less. So, the Scurvy Prognostication of The Match is:

Cardiff 0-1 Arsenal

Yes, we grind out another hard fought one-nil victory on the road to dash Welsh hopes of a return to the FA Cup final. We shall do this thing for Tony Adams, whose nose gets larger with each subsequent viewing. How does he do that? Tony is keen to keep his hopes of returning to the Finals when his club meet the venerable Swansea City this weekend.

Adebayor 30, Nasri 83, Bendtner 86 – Divers: none

The ten man Arsenal prevail over Hull City away at KC Stadium. Arsenal were forced to play with only ten men (and Eboue) for the full 90 minutes. But they didn’t let that deter them. They even had the sheer audacity to allow Eboue to actually possess the ball several times. Each time, of course, the ball was  immediately handed off to the opposition or shot wildly out of bounds.

Hull came on strong for the match. They were definitely up for it and looking for the double over us. We held tough through their spurts of creativity and kept possession. At the half, we were up 0-1 from an RvP corner placed on the right temple of one Emmanuel Adebayor. The ball then caromed off his empty bonce into the Hull net, luckily for us. Also, there was a Robin van Persie free kick that rattled the crossbar after the Hull keeper got some fingertips on the ball.

At the restart, the match pretty much picked up where it left off. It wasn’t until 83′ that RvP picked out the advancing Samir Nasri who easily netted around the Hull keeper. Three minutes later, Niklas Bendtner swept in to score our third and put the match out of reach. Another Bendtner attempt a few moments later could have made it 1-4. At times it felt like it could be history repeating itself, but for the most part it felt like a comfortable win.

Bonus: Johan Drourou gave Manucho a Liverpool kiss which should keep his eye shut for the better part of the weekend. Phil Brown was running his trap after the match saying that the lack of a call on Djourou was why his team didn’t go up. Piss off, Phil. If it weren’t for the posts, we would have won 1-5 or 2-5 with your supposed penalty. You don’t hear us bitching about the thickness of the posts, do you?

Unfortunately, all the other top teams, apart from Liverpool who play tomorrow,  also took maximum points. So, we remain in 5th, but continue our good form. Next up we head to Cardiff for next round of the FA Cup, which Clichy will sit for with his 5th yellow. Then it’s Everton when we get back to the League. Until then. Well done you GUNNERS!

Update: I thought this weekend couldn’t get better, but the Pond Life are now embroiled in five way tie for last place. Where, they’re too good to go down… or so I’m told. It’ll be fun to watch them struggle in & out of the drop zone for the rest of the season. Sorry the table to the right hasn’t been getting updated regularly. I’ll have to see about that.

The hated Tigers. The loathsome Tigers. They started so impressively and were the darlings of the Premier League for the first half of the season. Now, they’ve faltered. And there’s just so much not to like about them: That pipe coming out of the right side of Phil Brown’s head that he uses to utter cabalistic and arcane chants to some unknown deity during the match;  And… Orange? That just  speaks for itself. And then there’s the… well, that’s it really. I suppose they’re not so bad after all. Honestly, they played a great match the last time we saw them, we didn’t, and we paid dearly for it. But that doesn’t mean we can’t stick it to them this time around, does it? Of course not. But, I have to admit, it’s nice to see a newly promoted team shake things up a bit. Arsenal hasn’t played in the same league with Hull since World War I.

It looks like we’ve got no new injury news to report other than Alex Song having to face a fitness test prior to kickoff. Should he pass, it will feel like new signing. Feel it.  Hull are without George Boateng as far as I know. But, they’ve added Kevin Kilbane and now it appears the singularly named Manucho will be leaving Manchester United to join the Tigers. whether he’ll put boots on tomorrow is another matter. So, without further procrastination, the Scurvy Prognostication of The Match is:

Hull City 1-2 Arsenal

Yes, I’m hoping we come away with the same scoreline they did at The Grove. A clean sheet is nice, but defeat at home by one goal (preferably in injury time) is the knife we must twist in their stripey orange guts. Of course, a 0-5 drubbing would be swell too. A win for us will see them down to 9th place, even if West Ham & Fulham draw – Hull’s GD is pretty abysmal. As for us, we’ll probably remain in 5th. Everton can only come level of us with a win, but we’ve got the GD advantage unless they beat Livuhpyool 0-8. I can’t imagine Aston villa won’t take maximum points off Sunderland, but you never know. If they don’t and we win by 2, we’re back in the top four… albeit by the curliest of hairs.

Transfer Bits: I’ve heard that Arsène mentioned Bullard & Hangeland in a bit on ArsenalTV yesterday. Not sure what he said since I didn’t see it, but I assume it wasn’t that he’s signing either of them. I think it was probably more of the “I know zumthing you don’t know!” we’ve been getting from him since, well… forever.

In other news…  Kaka belongs to Jesus. His undergarments confirm this. Manchester City, on the other hand, belong to Satan. AC Milan are currently considering an offer of over 100 million pounds from Citeh to release the Holy One into their charge. Kaka said something like “I am bery bery happy at AC Milan and will not move.” To which his agent said “Hold on there, I say, Hold on there a second son…” And then I think there was some slapping. So, it’s not done and dusted, but I think it’s imminent. If it happens, I’m hopeful it will be viewed as the anomaly that it is. But it will probably have a negative impact on football as a whole. It’s an extremely huge sum of money for a single player. More than 60 million pounds beyond the previous record. The Sheikh couldn’t break the record by 10 or 20 million? That’s just pissing money away. And, it remains unclear what percentage of this fee will go directly to Jesus. Typically, Jesus was unavailable for comment. Right.

So, COME ON YOU GUNNERS!

PS – Sorry for the late post. New job prevents me from being very timely.

Bendtner 83 – Divers: none

Riveting, was it not? Oofa… I had a hard time staying awake for that one, after waiting all night for the torrent. Someone posted the second half earlier in a wide format, but I really wanted to see the whole thing, so I waited for the usual source. Bad move.

As expected, Bolton tried to compensate for their being utter shit by packing the box with pretty much everyone. It looked as if they had all 11 players plus the’re four subs in the box for the duration. Not that we threatened their goal very much. Despite having 99.4% possession and Captain Kolo doing a fine job pressing the boys on, we seemed content to practice passing and probe their defense for most of the match. To be fair, there was some lovely passing in evidence, but not much of it actually entered the Bolton area. But eventually, Robin van Persie made a nice little move up the left side, put a beautiful cross over to the far post where Niklas Bendtner came sliding to hoof it in. It felt good seeing Nik get the goal. He might have had two, but he’s been struggling a bit lately. Last season, his return vs the amount of time spent on the pitch was pretty impressive. He’s getting just as little time this season, but people expect just as many goals. I think he needs more 90 minute sessions, but that’s hard to justify with RvP and Adebayor available. But hopefully this goal will set him about finding his form.

So, now we’re off to Hull City. Wherever the hell that is. It’s going to be a tough match, but we owe them one. I seriously hope the boys are up for this one and get some revenge. An away win, after seven consecutive matches without a defeat, would be a great boost to team confidence.

Transfer Bits: The Arshavin Saga continues. Some of the other blogs are reporting that Man City are pissed at us for Kolo not being sold to them and are planning to disrupt the Arshavin deal. I find that unlikely now that they’ve tabled a £100 million bid for Kaka. More interestingly, there’s a report that we might be pursuing Jimmy Bullard. I’ve said several times that Jimmy would fit great with us. But, this is probably hooey as well. We’ll see.