Dismantled. Ok, now there’s a booming start to a season if I’ve ever seen one. I called this one in our favor 1-2, but I never expected the absolute rout that our boys put to the Toffees. Stunning. My six year old was allowed to stay up late (as is our new tradition) to watch the recording I had of the match. He was an ecstatic, jumping frenzy of red, in his Fabregas strip.

Things were firing on all cylinders in all areas of the park. The defense was solid as a brick wall. Manuel Almunia looked great, not that he had all that much to do; the center pairing of William Gallas and Thomas Vermaelen looked to be working quite well; and Gael Clichy and Bacary Sagna were their usual excellence. I have to admit a bit of skepticism at the 4-3-3 diamond formation, particularly with Niklas Bendtner on the right, but man did it ever work. Alex Song looked as though he’s set to continue his good run of form from last season. When Everton did manage to get the ball into the middle third, we harrassed and hampered and basically stole back possession with zeal. And when we did possess, we passed very well. Our mesmerizing football for which I’ve longed so is coming back! It was a thing of beauty. Up front, the combined efforts of Robin van Persie, Andrey Arshavin and Captain Cesc Fabregas attacking from the middle just had the Everton defense in tatters. Not a downside to be had.

The oddest thing that struck me, was that our first three goals came from the last three players I would have expected them to come. But that’s only a testament to our comprehensive ability. Denilson’s shot at 26′ was a lovely curling shot off a side foot from Cesc. There wasn’t a thing Tim Howard was going to do about that one, and I much prefer Denilson’s silly dances to the silly dances of another, to remain unnamed dancing fool. We’ll do plenty of dancing without him.

At 37′ Vermaelen wasted no time opening his account with his new club by slamming a header home off an RvP set piece. His authority has been well and truly stamped on both ends of the field.

Four minutes later at 41′, Cesc took another free kick which William Gallas guided expertly into the net. Lovely touch, was that, and Everton went into the locker room at the half completely and utterly gobsmacked.

At the restart, any intent on their part to gobsmack us back evaporated, when three minutes in at 48′, Robin van Persie squared to Cesc, who promptly nutmegged Howard to put away our fourth. I was a bit baffled by Cesc pointing to the sky as his goal celebration, very unlike him I thought… but he cleared things up for me at 70′ when he scored his second. After a throw by Almunia, Cesc pretty much walked the ball up the length of the field, split defenders and slotted home our fifth. He then ran to the sidelines, where kit manager Vic Akers waited. He tossed Cesc an Arsenal shirt with Jarque 21 printed on the back, in honor of the Spanish Captain who died tragically at age 26, just a short while ago. Cesc held it aloft, pointed to the sky again, and then tossed it back to Vic. A touching and classy tribute.

At 89′, we nearly saw Andrey Arshavin add to the scoresheet, but it pinged off the right post where our man Eduardo Da Silva stepped up and put it away. The rout was complete. The message to our detractors was sent. The Arsenal will not be written off. How dare you?

Yes, Everton did manage to put away a consolation goal, somewhere in the jubilant haze that was the final minutes of the match, but I didn’t really see it. What a well-rounded, strong performance put in by our lads. Well done. And… perhaps most importantly, we didn’t let up. No complacency in sight. We got in there and kept on stomping until the barman pulled us off them. And that’s how it needs to be done.

I do not, and will not get ahead of myself here. But, if this is any indication of what our “still maturing” team can produce, and they can remain consistent, then I couldn’t be more excited for what’s to come. But, the boys need to take it one game at a time, and I’m sure they will. Being the consummate professionals that they are, I’m sure the Everton Incident is but a distant and hazy memory and that they’ve all got Celtic on the brain now. I’ll post more on that after the match tomorrow. But for now, let’s bask in the glory that must surely be one of Arsenal’s best ever season openers.

This little clip emerged on the Interwebs recently. I found it via the essential Arseblog. It is, as I’m sure you will agree, ten shades of awesome. Bring it, boys… BRING IT!

Ohhhh, baby. Can you feel it? Can you dig it? Can you count?! Say it with me now, Cyrus: Caaaaan yoooou dig iiiiiit?!

Damn skippy, you do. I sure as hell can. Ahhh…. The EPL is back, cousins. It’s back. After what seemed to be an interminable off-season (they all do somehow, don’t they), the EPL, and our beloved Arsenal are back. Not a moment too  soon, either. I was starting to get this weird twitch in my… well, never mind.

So, where to start. Lots happened in the off season. None of which I’m going to detail here, because you, like me, have read reams about it already. All I’ll say is that I’m pretty happy with the shape of the squad just now. Of course, we could have used a few more in certain areas. Isn’t that always the case? But, it wouldn’t be a proper off-season these days without good ol’ Arsène pissing off the fans by not buying up every last prospect put before his nose. Call me a zealot, but I believe in what he’s doing. I’m not going to let the dark cloud of “Four Years Sans Silverware” change that, either. That’s the past. Let’s look to the future. I want these young fellows, some not quite so young anymore, to achieve things… with us. The skipper’s nothing, if not frugal. We know that. He probably takes 20 minutes to decide what to put in his coffee each morning. But that’s not a bad thing. Not in this business. Will it translate to what seems to be the only result people care about? I think so. But, as always, I’m more concerned with the pretty football. It came and went last year. And I really want it back, for good. We’re a team capable of mesmerizing footwork in abundance. We just need to find that mojo again. I have a feeling, much like I do at the beginning of each season, that we will find that rhythm again.

Leavings and Droppings

Offsidebayor… we hardly knew ye. I can’t wait to see you sluggishly moping about the pitch up norf. Dazzle the Mancs with your first touch like a rapist. Bungle your way around, and do your dopey dances when in late April, you’ve scored your 11th goal.
Kolo… I’m going to miss you. They can say what they want about having lost your edge compared to seasons gone by, but you were and always will be, in my mind… all Arsenal. Good luck up there.
Sylvester… You were always the… oh, fuck… your still here.
Amaury… I didn’t realize you were here. You’re so quiet. Good luck, wherever you’ve gone.

New Arrivals and BooBoos

Thomas Vermaelen: now here’s a proper big bloke to stick in the center of the defense. I’m hoping to see a steady combined appearance with him and Djourou, and I’m hoping he can bring the best out of Gallas. We’ll see.
Tomas Rosicky: is injured. Again. People keep saying, “Well that’s to be expected when you haven’t played for seven years, blada blada…” But, aren’t we just a bit beyond the ridiculous at this point? I really, truly, and honestly hope that when he returns, he stays. He is quite capable of making magic on the pitch. Let’s see it, Tomas!
Samir Nasri: broken leg. Damn it. But, if that’s our quotient for broken legs this year, that’s a good thing. He’ll be back in October, and I’m very much looking forward to seeing him back out there.
Lukasz Fabianski: Some sort of minor cartilage surgery. Not sure. But I hate to think where we’ll be between the sticks if Al takes a hit.
Johann Djourou: pulled his bag, I think. But I hear he’ll be back soon. We’ll see.
Marouane Chamakh: He’s going to be just terr… oh, that didn’t happen. Right. So much for a sure thing.
Abou Diaby: is out. Not sure why. Supposedly he’ll be back soon. For how long? Anyone’s guess.

Having done so little bringing players in this off season, I wonder if we’re gearing up for some signings in the transfer window. But speculating on that at this point is a bit like pissing in a stiff wind: you usually just get piss on yourself. Onto more important things…

New Ritual

This season, I’m adopting a new kick off ritual to throw out some good mojo vibes to the Arsenal: Tonight, I’ll be consuming copious amounts of blue beer (called Wild Blue), and then for the match tomorrow, a red wine (called Fat Cat). I’m hoping the fat, redcurrant feline on the label will bring lots of goals at Goodison Park. As for the blue beer, well… I, for one, think our new blue strip looks pretty fucking smart. I think it’s the collar that keeps it from reminding me of Chelski or even the third kit looking like Spurs for that matter. We won’t see the away kit tomorrow, but soon. Thus, the blue, then red drink choice. I’m not sure where I came up with this, but I’m pretty damn thirsty now. Where the hell has that blue beer gotten to?

New Meats

I’m sorry… did I say Meats? Surely, I meant Teams. What else could I have meant by that? But, I digest… we have three new teams with which to beat upon this season. You might recall from last season, that we got our fair share of beatings from the three teams promoted, rather than the other way around. Points we surely could have used. Let’s hope we do not see a repeat of that.

Wolverhampton Wanderers
Does anyone actually call them Wanderers? Particularly since we already have a Wanderers, and even a Rovers for that matter, and not to mention the great fucking giant wolf they have on their logo, but… I know them as Wolves, and will be calling them as such forthwith. Back in the top flight for the first time since 1984, this is the only team from last year’s Championship season who played like they belonged in the Premiership. I’m looking forward to seeing if this side can stay up this year, or better… running about the Prem making wolfish noises and scaring the bejeezus out of people. Especially if it means relegating the smarmy and alarmingly swarthy car salesman, Phil Brown and his striped nitwits. Excepting, of course, Jimmy Bullard. Jimmy, you could do better than Hull. Get out.

Burnley FC
In the top flight for the first time since 1976, I don’t know a whole lot about this team, The Clarets. Apart, of course, from the fact that they bounced our kids from the Carling Cup last go around. I hear they’re wearing some old school strip this season to commemorate a side long gone. And, I know they’ve found a whole lot of new faces to fill those shirts. As far as I know, that’s a recipe for disaster.  If your side’s strong enough to get you there, don’t they deserve a shot at keeping you up? Not so much, says Owen Coyle. It will be nice to get two shots at them this year with the first team, and see how they hold up.

Birmingham City
I despise this team and their manager, ever since they did Eduardo’s leg. Not so much that it happened, but the way they spun the story in the aftermath, coming to their man’s defense. Despicable. How much of that squad from 07-08 remains, I have no idea. They pipped Reading to get back up this year, but I’m hoping they pull a Derby County and stay rooted to the bottom of the table where they belong. While we’re at it, I hope they repeat that again in the Championship next season and continue their slide into hell from there. Eduardo will score a hat trick at St. Andrew’s this season, to add to Andrey’s brace.

So, that’s it. That’s my kick off for the new season. A bit wordy, was it not? Perhaps. No matter… I hope you all kick off the season in style, wherever you may be tomorrow. I’m predicting our first away win, 1-2 with one from RvP & Andrey each. Let’s just see how that pans out. In the meantime…

COME ON YOU GUNNERS!

If you’ve come in from the old address on Wordpress.com, then you’ve found us. This is the new home of Great Guns. And welcome! I hope you like it. Have a look around. It’s a preponderance of red, is it not? It looks like dead Cthulu waited dreaming, then bent over and puked on this very spot.

There’s not a lot going on here just yet, apart from tweaking the new site. But it’s all in preparation for the new 2009/2010 Arsenal season, which will once again see Great Guns buzzing with activity and regular posts. If you’re new here, expect much silliness and ranting and general Arsenal-related hi-jinks. Dig through some old posts to get an idea what to expect. By our opening match at Everton this August 15 ,2009, I should have the site tucked and tweaked and ready for action. I do hope you’ll bookmark the site, grab a RSS Feed if that’s your thing, and head on back.

Jack Scurvy