I didn’t see it. I recorded it, with the intention of watching when I returned from a holiday trip with the family. Then I made the mistake of glancing at my Google Calendar when I got home. I never realized this, but the Arsenal Calendar I have set up on my calendar updates past games with the score. I looked at the little red block on the calendar this morning and saw Arsenal (0) Chelsea (3). Bloody hell. I’ll not look at that damn calendar again before watching a recorded game, but perhaps this time it saved me some pain.

So, I promised my son I wouldn’t tell him the outcome as he does want to watch the game later. I complied. Poor little guy. I, however, do not want to watch it. Although, I probably will. I had a bad feeling about this match that started welling up in my gut two weeks ago. The feeling started not because I thought we would play poorly, but because they’ve been playing so damn well. And, it turns out that feeling was right. They outclassed us last night. I don’t see much that we can take as a positive from this one. All we can do is get on with it. What we got yesterday was a good old fashioned hiding from the bigger kid. What we need to do today, is shrug it off and get back to the business of good football. The lead Chelsea has now is not insurmountable. And you just never know when or if the football gods will turn their cruel eye upon them and point the Finger of Injury Crisis. If that happens, we need to be ready, and on a roll to start catching up. What else is there?

Was there a full moon last night? Did something wicked this way come? Weirdness was simply in abundance at The Grove for the visit from Standard Liege, there can be no doubt. From the unusual injuries, the back flip passing, to the return of the Denilson Bobble Dance. It was most certainly an odd evening, but it was an evening that saw the Arsenal book their ticket to the Final 16. It’s Knockout time, kids.

But it wasn’t exactly a smooth ride now, was it? We started and ended strong, yes. Seemingly bossing the visitors up and down the pitch, we had shot after shot but none found the target. At one point, we had a goal mouth scramble the likes of which I’ve never seen. A corner in from Fabregas was shot once by Arshavin, which was saved, then shot again off the deflection by Vela, then again by Gallas, then yet again by Vermaelen… it was on target and screaming for the goal… when it hit Arshavin in the face and clipped wide. AA hit the floor from the force. Not the last time we’d see his head in action for the night.

We continued the pace. Although, it must be said, Liege were not entirely without effort. They came pretty close to taking the lead by Mbokani pinging one off the top right corner of the post. It was an evil shot that had Almunia beat from the start, but lacked that extra small bit of curl to go in.

At around the first third, Fabregas crossed into the area, Gallas tried to head it in but instead headed Arshavin in the head. The two of them went down hard. Gallas looked like he’d gone ten rounds with the champ as his eye began to swell shut, while Andrey sat on the turf with blood streaming down his face. Both went off the pitch. They restarted with us down to 9 men… time to batten down the hatches? Gallas was allowed to go back in, although I have no idea why. What was Wenger thinking? If Gallas finishes the half and gets subbed out at the half, does that save us one of our three substitution opportunities? I don’t think so. The guy couldn’t see, was groggy and off balance. But, on he went. Despite that, as we got back up to 9½ men while Arshavin was still getting his head stapled shut, Thomas Vermaelen hoofed one up to Samir Nasri who was approaching the area. The defender went to take the ball but slipped. Nasri capitalized by taking a lovely tap off the inside of his right foot on the half-volley to nudge it past the keeper. 1-0 to the Arsenal, and The Grove erupted.

The pace continued. Arshavin returned to the pitch with his yarmulke and nearly pounded one in a few minutes later to keep up the pressure. What a tough little Russian he is. I think he’d have been back out there thumping in shots even if the Black Knight recently had his arm off. <bad russian accent>Eet’s jest a fleesh wund.</bad russian accent>

I have to mention yet another strong performance from Alexandre Song. You can’t say enough about this guy and the improvement he’s made in the past year. He’s gone from backup to the backup, to a centrally vital piece of our squad. People say that Fabregas is the heartbeat of this team, which is true… but then Alex Song is our backbone. He just signed a long-term deal to stay with us, and that’s a great thing. I’m getting a Song 17 shirt printed up the next time I’m at The Grove.

To add to the weirdness of the night, something was seriously up with the Austrian official. Even the commentator on the channel I was watching said “I guess they don’t have penalties in Austria.” There were no less than three, perhaps four, clear cut, plain as day penalties in the area, on both sides of the ball… and none were called. In plain view of the official and his assistants… and… nothing. We should have seen at least two spot kicks in that game, one per team. Yet… nothing. Bizarre. But, at least his inadequacy was even on both sides of the ball.

Just before the whistle at the half, Denilson let off a gorgeous 35 yard shot toward the top of the goal. No one expected it to fool the keeper, but it did. 2-0 to the Arsenal. Job done. Denilson gathered all the lads around to celebrate, and Nasri egged him into doing his now patented Bobble Dance. I think watching Nasri do it first was pretty funny.

We kept up the pressure in the second half, and Arsène began bringing on his subs. Silvestre was in for Gallas at the half, Vela and Walcott came in to make an appearance as well. Liege put a little bit of a fight up near the end, but we stayed the tide. Near time, after a somewhat rash challenge by Gonzalez, Fabregas got in his face to let him know how big of a jackass he was. The youngling didn’t like it and head-butted Fabregas to get himself a straight red card. Have a nice three game ban, dumbass. Fabregas didn’t seem too chuffed, being more concerned with the sweat Gonzalez left on his brow. And, Liege weren’t the only ones to end with ten men. Kieran Gibbs went off in the dying seconds with what’s now been revealed to be a fractured metatarsal. He’ll be out for three months. Not good. Especially with Gael Clichy still recovering from his injury, we’re a bit light at left back. But, Armand Traore should step and and do nicely. I just hope he stays healthy. He should bring his knuckle duster to the Chelsea match in case Terry finds his way into our area.

Every season we deal with injuries, just like every other team. But why is it, and I know I’ve said this before, that we seem to suffer so many? Is it the longer schedule? I have no idea. All I know is we need as strong a side as we can muster this Sunday for Chelsea. Rest up you Gunners. Great match last night, but now we need to face the real test. Rest up.

Something in my gut told me this was not going to go as planned. I hate my gut. I truly do. What with all the indigestion and burping and farting, etc. I can honestly do without it. And then to hear it saying “1-0, what did I tell yaaaaa?” Fuck you, gut. Just… fuck you.

So, it felt like a semi-decent performance from the gang, but just not enough there to put anything past the Sunderland defense. it was a tough game to watch. You just know we’re probably not going to score in the first third, but then the second third pisses along and it’s still 0-0 and you start to get all fidgety and shit. Not you? Well, I do. That sucked to watch. Fucking Darren Bent seemed to be their only forward option, and he certainly seemed to get lucky on that goal, but hell… it just seemed at that point we had enough in the tank to come back. But no… good thing there’s lots of season left this year. Should make the Chelsea match one hell of a game.

Good on ya, Black Cats…  a well deserved win. And it doesn’t hurt so much now that you’ve rid yourselves of that Keane fellow.

I really should have called that score. I remember thinking last week that we’d score a bunch, but probably let in at least one since we were away from home. I seem to remember even thinking a repeat of the AZ scoreline wouldn’t be unfair. Oh, to have put a few schillings on that one. But, what I didn’t expect was just how much bad luck Wolves would have. Two own goals? That’s criminal. Sure, they were the result of the pressure we were putting on them, but the Keystone Cops were certainly in evidence at the back for the Wolfish. No doubt.

Although, for the first 20 minutes or so, we didn’t get to see those Keystone Cops very much because the ball was always in our end of the pitch. All credit has to go out to Wolves for the effort they put in. They were seriously pressuring us right from the whistle. Mick McCarthy looked positively insane on the touchline, screaming not ten seconds into the match. He’s pretty buggy-eyed to begin with, but something had his knickers in a twist right from kick-off. They were playing us tough, though… enough so, that for a few minutes I started to get that sinking feeling. The one that turned out to be for good reason so many times last year. The one where a team we were simply supposed to beat on paper, would throw all caution to the wind and cause us problems we couldn’t deal with. But it wasn’t to be this time. Not this year. Wolves have now received the memo.

The first one went in off Zubar at about 28′. Most thought it was Eduardo Da Silva, but he very quickly threw up his hands and said “Don’t look at me, man!” Eduardo was definitely the bugaboo for Wolves yesterday. Perhaps he’s found a way to throw some of that bad mojo that he brought down on our heads earlier in the year towards our opponents? Before the OG went in, Eduardo was clearly brought down in the area, but no penalty was given. A few minutes later, and the OG happened. Then, at 35′ only seven minutes later… another. Aaron Ramsey, quite the playmaker of late, broke free with Eduardo, dumped off to Eduardo, who took the shot. Untouched, it might have sailed wide. But, Craddock got a bit of cheekbone on it and deflected the shot into the net. 0-2. This time, Eddy claimed the goal, and ran to the cameras to reveal his shirt underneath, on which was written “Paz Na Villa Kennedy – RJ“. This translates in Portugese to “Peace in the Village Kennedy, Rio De Janeiro“. Supposedly, this is the village that Eduardo was born in and as of late, has been suffering from some pretty bad unrest due fighting between criminal factions. I hope his message raises some awareness and the situation there can be brought in line.

At 45′ we saw a lovely little run by Robin van Persie, who dropped the perfect pass in front Cesc Fabregas who had only the lightes of touches before burying our third. Great movement of the ball and a clinical finish. At 65′ Andrey Arshavin took a deflection off a corner kick to put away our fourth goal and seal the match. We kept on the pressure, looking for a fifth, but it was not to be. There may have been a little pressure taken off the accelerator, but I think we did good to keep the pressure on them for the duration.

At 88′ Craddock managed to redeem himself a bit by heading in a corner after throwing off the marking of Thomas Vermaelen. A feat which very few have had success doing this season. Once TV5 gets on your ass, he stays there. All in all, I’d say the scoreline was a bit unfair for Wolves. They played with a lot of heart and despite the loss, should be proud of the effort they put in. If were us having the bad luck yesterday, it could have been quite different.

So, we’re now up to 2nd position (on GD over Red Devils) with a game in hand. Chelsea have pulled 5 points clear though. Right now, they’re looking pretty unstoppable. They’ve only one less than us in Goal Differential as well, due largely to their ability to not leak goals. It also helps to have the officials completely miss things like blatant penalties in the box. But, I guess when you’re John Terry and you’re playing at the Bridge, that’s a luxury you can afford. Cheating prick.

Note to Robert Plant: I had no idea you were a Wolves fan all these years. I saw you in the stands at Molineux and thought “Ah! Percy’s a Gooner! Excellent!” But then I thought a bit more, and I remembered that you’re actually from the midlands. So, I whipped out the iPhone for some Google Fu, and lo and behold… you’re not just a Wolves fan since boyhood, but also their Vice President. FFS, Robert… I’m conflicted here. To watch my team dispatch the team of one of the most important musical influences of my life, does feel a bit weird I have to admit. But I assuage myself knowing you must be so proud that they’ve fought their way up to the top flight. But, I have one burning question… I know you spent some time around The Who back in the day. What sort of banter went back and forth between you and Roger Daltry when and if the subject of football came up? I can imagine you both having a laugh. I’d wager Roger’s been a Gooner even longer than you’ve been a Wolf.

So, like many of you I’m sure, I’ve been thinking about all these goals we’re seeing The Arsenal score lately. I mean, they’re positively flying in these days. Can you remember the last time we scored less than two? I can’t. I don’t want to. All I know is that we are sitting upon one almighty collective purple patch, with goals coming from more players than I care to even guess at. Two centre halves with four and five goals each? And this early in the season? I love it.

Nutty as I’m wont to be, I do odd things now and then, such as… crack open a spreadsheet. I did that today, and dumped the latest EPL table figures in there. Then I went and did some of that data sorting hoodoo that it does to see where we sit in regards to the rest of the league in average goals per game, goals against, both home and away, etc. The results are pretty interesting. So, I share…

Unsorted – This is where we sit, in 3rd place with a game in hand. Not a bad place to be.

Unsorted

Average For – Sort the table on average goals for, and we shoot right to the top. Just where you’d expect us to be, #1.

Average Goals For

Average For Home – When you sort by goals for at Ashburton Grove, we remain at the top of the pile, a entire one goal higher than Chelsea, with Liverpool in second.

Average For Goals Home

Average For Away – And again, sorting by for goals in enemy territory, we still remain tops, but with Chelsea creeping up on us.

Average For Goals Away

Quite a testament to our goal scoring ability so far this season. And, bear in mind… this is Premiership stats only. I’m frightened to think what these numbers would look like if all competitions were included. So, with our ability to find the nylon firmly in hand, let’s have a look at our ability to stop our opponents from doing same to us.

Average Against - Here’s where we rank when you sort the table by Average Goals we’ve let slip by. Ouch… we slide down to 7th place. Amost twice as many as Chelsea have let in.

Average Goals Against

Average Against Home – It gets a little better, we slide back up into 3rd place, with only Chelsea and oddly enough Birmingham only allowing in fewer at home.

Average Against Goals Home

Average Against Away – Ruh-roh… I see a problem here, Scoob. We plummet down to 13th place in the table! Are the defense sleeping in uncomfortable bus seats too much? Of course you expect to let more go in when you’re away, but it’s still interesting to see which teams are doing better and worse than us when it comes to protecting the net away from the fortress. I mean, Portsmouth, FFS! Rooted to the bottom of the table, hold 7th place in this sort. Amazing.

Average Against Goals Away

So, this was fun for me and I thought perhaps some of you might find interesting as well. Just a little something to pass the time awaiting the match at Wolves tomorrow.  I’ll be raising my glass in hopes of three points and getting a jump on either Man U Or Chelsea. I hate to say it, but I think it might be better for us if the Red Devils win that one. It brings the current league leader a bit closer, and it’s always fun to watch Assley Hole lose.